Q: Do the Interwebs really need another cancer blog?

     A: No. But I need it, because I'm trying to write fiction, and this goddamn blight is infecting my prose and poetry. This is my attempt to surgically remove it.

     I'm a writer, wife, mother, student, sister, Democrat, etc. Diagnosed with IIIC ovarian cancer at age 35. That was nearly twelve years ago. Recurred seven years later, three months after my father died. My daughter was 15 months old. There was not one thing about it that did not suck out loud.  In the last four years, I've had too many surgeries and rounds of chemo to keep track of. 2007 was the worst, with chemo failing and in April, doctors suggesting I was too frail to keep trying new therapies.

     Screw that. 

     I started a full-time, three-year residential MFA in Creative Writing program last fall, complete with 20 hours a week in TA responsibilities.  Devoting my time to writing, reading, and thinking about writing; staying busy with classes and job responsibilities; buying a "new" 100-year-old house; and most of all, raising a fabulous five year old (kindergarten starts in a week!) with my adorable husband -- all have sustained me. 

     I reckon I'm a person who thrives on a project or seven.

     Anyway, about three weeks ago we had a crummy CT scan. I'm feeling good, relatively asymptomatic, neuropathy isn't so bad when the weather's warm, so we're waiting. Which freaks me out. Last time we waited too long; I damn near died. But the longer between therapies, the better the chance the weed killer will work, until it doesn't. 

     So, it's a chronic condition. 

     To keep anxiety in check and be able to sleep without fitful dreams, I pop nerve pills. (If I miss a pill, my dreams are vivid, menacing and constant.) My intention is to use this blog to work out the day-to-day and even big-picture stuff, so that I can be free to write characters who don't have, um, some morbid disease. You'd be surprised how your subconscious nudges its way onto the page when you deprive it its dream space.

     Feel free to leave comments. 

     Gobamabiden.