Offbeat observation: McCain's eyes

     Amy and I talked yesterday about the bizarre change in John McCain's eyes over the last week or two, at least since the convention. It's not only the stunned, empty, expressionless gaze -- it's the color of his eyes, or rather, the lack of it. He has blue-blue-blue eyes, or did have. Lately, though, it looks as though he's either been sporting deep brown contacts or skimming the top of Cindy's ivory-handled pill dispenser. 

     When I asked my sister last night if she'd noticed McCain's eyes, she immediately said, "Yes! They're all pupil -- all dilated pupil!" So, it's not just me.

     Here's my theory: The geniuses pulling his strings have decided it would be suicide if he came out wearing glasses, which I cannot believe he doesn't actually need, considering his robotic attachment to the TelePrompTer and frequent misreading thereof. So, geniuses took the opportunity to fit him with contact lenses... but not your ordinary contact lenses! No, these are the kind used by Hollywood stars to appear easy, open, and engaged. The principle is based on the biological fact that babies' eyes are huge in relation to their faces because large eyes engender in humans feelings of love and an urge to protect. (Think about those infuratingly adorable Hummel figurines you want to smash to smithereens.) And in soap operas -- I know whereof I speak here -- actresses routinely use big brown contacts to make their pupils appear dilated during love scenes; one of those involuntary biological cues to potential mates that we are interested.

     So. John McCain. At once trying to look younger (no glasses), garner love/empathy (a robotic Hummel), and telegraph a real, human soul. 

     Too bad those contacts don't actually sharpen his vision, in any conceivable way.